The Motorcycle Diaries

Description: This film tells the incredible true story of a 23-year-old medical student from Argentina, Che Guevara (yes, that Che, played here by Gael Garcia Bernal), who motorcycled across South America with his friend Alberto Granado (Rodrigo de la Serna) in 1951-52. The trek became a personal odyssey that ultimately crystallized the young man's budding revolutionary beliefs. Based on Che's own diaries of the trip.

My Promulgation: This is one of a few movies I've reviewed that receives an unprecedented 5 of 5 stars. Why? Because I liked it, you dumbass. Why did I like it? Ahhh, that is a different question, taking pages to answer. I will give you a quick summary.

1. I love Argentina and Chile, and for that matter South America.
2. I love third world countries.
3. I love stories of adventure and travel.
4. I love foreign films.
5. I love stories that tell of life altering and defining events.

Rent it, you won't be disappointed.

Pi: Faith in Chaos

Description: This jarring black-and-white brain-bender is a haunting examination of science -- and obsession. Written and directed by Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream), Pi: Faith in Chaos tells the story of a haunted, fragile mathematical genius (Sean Gullette) on the trail of a 216-digit number hidden in Pi that could unlock the secrets of the stock market ... and the universe.

My Promulgation: I saw this movie years ago. Didn't like it then. Why the hell did I rent the POS again. I am an idiot.

Closer

Description: In this drama based on a hit Broadway play, Academy Award-winning director Mike Nichols exposes the ugly core hiding behind the slick veneer of the relationships of four beautiful people -- a photographer (Julia Roberts) and her boyfriend (Clive Owen), and a romantic (Jude Law) and his quirky beloved (Oscar nominee Natalie Portman). When two of them embark on an illicit affair, a cascade of betrayal ensues, questioning the very meaning of love.

My Promulgation: Hmmm. This was one of those "how weird can relationships be portrayed in a movie" kinda movie. Does everybody think Julia Roberts is a great actress? I think she's a one dimensional dud, and in this movie she doesn't disappoint. Seems like she "plays" the same role over and over and over. BORING. I give it 3 stars but I don't have a clue as to why. Oh I remember now. Natalie Portman (Uh Star Wars, you bozo) has some hot scenes and she's kinda cute....She made up for Julia (I cry @ congressional hearings, and can't really act) Roberts.

Southern Comfort

Description: This moving documentary chronicles the last year in the life of Robert Eads, a female-to-male transsexual dying of ovarian cancer. We're introduced to several people who figure prominently in Robert's life -- most importantly, Lola Cola, a transsexual who's become Robert's life partner and cares for him full-time. The two prepare to lead a panel at the annual Southern Comfort conference, a yearly event created for transgendered individuals.

My Promulgation: This was a facinating movie about a whole group of transexual freaks. Well, transexuals can love. They can die of cancer too. They can cry. I cried too. It was sad.

Team America: World Police

Trey Parker and Matt Stone apply their acerbic wit to global crime-fighting in this satire starring an all-marionette cast. Team America is a police force that takes on the challenging role of keeping the peace in a troubled planet. Wherever there appears to be a dictator itching to rule the world, the heroes fly in to dismantle the government. The team's newest recruit is Gary Johnston, a Broadway star who just may have found his true calling.

My Promulgation: This is the best potty humor movie I've seen. It was fantastic. If you are a South Park fan, you will love this movie. Watch the extended cuts on the DVD. Amazing what they did with the puppetry….Not like with their pensises, but still very interesting and funny all the same. If you are easily offended, then GFY.

Equilibrium

In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: Books, art and music are strictly forbidden, and feeling is a crime punishable by death -- a rule that's enforced by feeding the denizens a mood-limiting drug. John Preston (Christian Bale) is a top government official responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. But when he misses a dose of his own medication, he experiences a pang of conscience. …

My Promulgation: I don't remember much about this movie, so it gets a sub-par rating.

Bus 174

This moving documentary depicts a fateful day in June 2000 when a Rio de Janeiro bus carrying 12 passengers was hijacked by a man named Sandro do Nascimento. Cameras rolled as he touted his plans to kill all aboard but was finally persuaded to give himself up. A cop nonetheless opened fire on Nascimento, killing a passenger instead and causing the city's streets to erupt in riots. Details of Nascimento's very troubled childhood are also featured.

My Promulgation: I love internationally made films because they are so weird. This one is that, different. Not a great movie or a really happy I love puppies and kitties kinda topic but interesting in I don't see this @ Hollywood kinda thing. Kinda.

Puppetry of the Penis

This bizarre but compelling cult theatrical hit features two naked Australian men -- David Friend and Simon Morley -- who have the amazing ability to play tricks using nothing but their genitalia, in tandem with hilarious commentary. Filmed at the Forum Theatre in Melbourne, this performance shows some of the duo's best work. Please note: Due to the nature of the performance, this disc includes full-frontal nudity.

My Promulgation: Two guys on stage doing bizarre thing with their dongs. I couldn't imagine an on stage practice session where you actually atempt to stretch your nut sack in any way, shape or form. Before getting into the hot tub. I tried two of these stunts after viewing this movie. It was a painful and humbling experience. Those fucking Aussies…..They are so weird, and I guess, based upon this footage, they have very flexible scrotums.

Scrotum = Nutsack.....

1. important piece of male genitals that holds and protects the inner testes
2. a stupid fucker who does or says dumb shit and will not stop

1. Mother, once you are through with dinner, will you please wash my nutsack?
2. Mother, that kid Timmy is a frickin' nutsack.

Dead Man

Only Jim Jarmusch could direct a Western like this: A poetry-loving American Indian mistakes accountant William Blake (Johnny Depp) for the English writer of the same name, while bounty hunters take Depp for a murderer. Jarmusch packs the film with an unlikely collection of castmates, including Iggy Pop, Gabriel Byrne, John Hurt, and Robert Mitchum in one of his last roles.

My Promulgation: John Depp is a great "freaky" actor. In this movie he doesn't disappoint. Too bad this was Robert Mitchum's last movie. The Iggy Pop char (and him) were not worth a chihuahua shit so it only got 3 stars.

Sin City

Murder, corruption and cover-ups are all part of Sin City's daily routine in this dark film that weaves three tales from Frank Miller's graphic novels. Marv (Mickey Rourke) is a psychotic outcast who seeks vengeance for Goldie's (Jaime King) murder; Dwight (Clive Owen) kills a cop and must cover it up; and nearly retired cop Hartigan (Bruce Willis) is accused of a crime he didn't commit. Benicio Del Toro, Jessica Alba and Rosario Dawson costar.

My Promulgation: This is a great example of if you throw 20+ great actors into a so so movie and plot, guess what? The resulting combination is fucking so so. What insight and amazing powers of reflection I have. Jesus H. I think this is a solid two stars @ best, Maybe if I spend more time reading esoteric literature and less time doing whatever, I could have more pithy insight for this flick. I don't and I don't.....Jessica Alba was kinda hot, but pretty much obscured by a weird little film.

The Sweetest Sound

In this humorous and touching documentary, award-winning independent filmmaker Alan Berliner tracks the lives of several other men who share his name -- including a celebrity photographer, an Ohio lawyer and a Seattle social worker -- and deftly explores the relationship between one's moniker and the way it shapes identity. Berliner also touches upon the history of names, stopping at Ellis Island for some fascinating information.

My Promulgation: Mildly entertaining…..Nothing more than that.

Amores Perros

Director Alejandro González Iñarritu's internationally acclaimed debut film recounts three tales that unfold and intertwine on the brutal streets of Mexico City. Streetwise loser Octavio (Gael García Bernal) has an obsessive crush on his sister-in-law; Daniel (Álvaro Guerrero) dumps his family for a disturbed supermodel; and ex-guerilla El Chivo (Emilio Echevarría) cares for a wounded dog while planning an assassination

My Promulgation: I liked this movie. It was interesting and the story line appeared somewhat unique to me. I think it was subtitled so be sure you can read fast.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Eddie (Nick Moran) is usually slick with a deck of cards, but after losing at a fixed table for London high rollers, he's in massive debt to a local porn kingpin (P.H. Moriarty). Eddie's irate father (Sting) refuses to hand over his bar to save his son's fingers, leaving Eddie and his friends few options. To come out ahead, they craft a heist to steal the money from the criminals next door -- with overblown results.

My Promulgation: Totally like Snatch and this and that and whatever the fuck I can't remember those other similar movies. Worth a watch, but sure as hell won't change your life or alter your views on anything.

Primer

An engineer builds a machine (quite by accident) that can transport the user back in time. But his discovery comes with an ominous caveat, because at the heart of this puzzling device, nothing is as it seems on the surface. The narrative inventively blends a patchwork story line with overlapping streams of dialogue that help build tension and suspense in this Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize winner. David Sullivan and Shane Carruth star.

My Promulgation: This was a "hmmm... how did that work exactly" kinda movie. I enjoyed it.

Veronica Guerin

Veronica Guerin (Cate Blanchett), a real-life reporter for Dublin's Sunday Independent, delved into the netherworld of drug lords in pursuit of a great story -- but her zeal put her life in grave danger. Gerard McSorley and Brenda Fricker co-star in this Joel Schumacher-directed drama based on events in the acclaimed Irish journalist's life.

My Promulgation: This was an OK film….Little too "melodramatic" for my taste, but it was OK.

Bottle Rocket

Three best friends attempt to escape their suburban boredom through a life of crime. But, these bickering, bumbling thieves are no match for the local 'godfather' who leads them into the biggest heist of their careers.

My Promulgation: I think this was funny movie, but I'll be fucked if I remember why.

The Cooler

Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy) is the unluckiest man in Las Vegas. Looking to knock out their highest rollers, one of the last mob-run casinos in town uses Bernie as a "cooler" to defuse lucky streaks. The scheme goes along just fine until Bernie falls in love with a cocktail waitress (Maria Bello) who becomes his "lady luck," much to the chagrin of the casino's crooked director (Alec Baldwin).

My Promulgation: Nothing to inspirational in this flick staring Macy the guy who was in Fargo. It was OK.

The Man Who Wasn't There

Set in the summer of 1949 in a small northern California town, this film noir from the Coen brothers stars Billy Bob Thornton as Ed Crane, a barber who's dissatisfied with his life. His wife Doris's (Frances McDormand) infidelity presents him with an opportunity for blackmail that he thinks will turn his life around ... but his scheme lays bare even darker secrets that eventually lead to murder.

My Promulgation: The Coen brothers are known for making some odd flicks, and this is certainly one. Billy Bob and Frances McDormand are both pretty good in this dark little oddball flick. Flick Flick....Can I use that word any more in two sentences....Fuck...Anyway worth the view.

Collateral

Max (Oscar nominee Jamie Foxx) takes a job as a taxi driver to make ends meet, hoping to one day run his own business. Twelve years later, he's still driving the same cab and is about to have his craziest day on the job yet when he discovers that Vincent (Tom Cruise), who's just paid Max a handsome sum to be driven around all night, is a hit man. Now, it's up to Max to save the life of Vincent's final hit … while keeping his own life intact.

My Promulgation: I think Jamie Foxx is a pretty good actor. Even though I think Tom Cruise is a typical Hollywood goofball (can you say Scientologist?) and most of his movies suck, this one was OK.

No Good Deed

In this film based on a Dashiell Hammett story, Samuel L. Jackson is Jack, a cop who, while chasing down a runaway, stumbles upon a mob robbing a bank and is abducted by the criminals. They keep Jack at a hideaway with only the ringleader's girlfriend, Erin (Milla Jovovich), to keep watch. Soon, the two begin to play on each other's weaknesses, trying to figure out who's manipulating whom, and later make a connection that trumps all others.

My Promulgation: I like Samuel Jackson, but I don't remember much about this flick…It gets two stars because I have a shitty memory. Sorry Sam.

Ray

This biopic tells the life story of rhythm and blues legend Ray Charles (Jamie Foxx, who won a Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal). Born to a poor family in Albany, Ga., Charles contracted glaucoma at age 6 (which robbed him of his eyesight) and nonetheless went on to become a world-famous pianist and performer. He dealt with racism, romantic letdowns and his own heroin abuse, but managed to triumph over all obstacles. Taylor Hackford directs.

My Promulgation: Good movie but did it deserve the TONS of hoopla it recevied? Nah. I'm giving it 4 stars since it was still pretty decent.

What the Bleep do we know?

The neurological processes and "quantum uncertainty" of life are explored in this film. Thrust from her mundane life into an Alice in Wonderland-like world, Amanda (Marlee Matlin) must develop a brand-new perception of the world and the people she interacts with. Interviews with various experts are interspersed throughout the film, which combines narrative, documentary and animation. Elaine Hendrix, John Ross Bowie and Armin Shimerman also star.

My Promulgation: Mildly interesting with some interviews of what I would call a impressive selection of experts in selected fields. I am a believer in many things that we cannot explain, but some of the claims made in this flick seem to take a certain faith reserved only for a few. Being a realist, I also am one who can differentiate the theory from day to day reality. So, it gets an OK rating.

The Station Agent

When his only friend dies, a young dwarf named Finbar McBride (Peter Dinklage) relocates to an abandoned train station in rural New Jersey, intent on living the life of a hermit. But his solitude is soon interrupted by his colorful neighbors, which include a struggling artist (Patricia Clarkson) coping with the recent death of her young son and a talkative Cuban hot dog vendor (Bobby Cannavale).

My Promulgation: I dug this movie. Highly! It was an interesting story, with good charecters and ultimately a feel good, glad to have friends kinda flick. Check it out, it will make you smile.

Bob Marley: The Legend Live

Recorded in California at the Santa Barbara County Bowl, this live concert appearance from Bob Marley and the Wailers was filmed on November 25, 1979. One of the last shows to be recorded before Marley's untimely demise, the gig is a scintillating mix of reggae classics and provides a fitting epitaph to the influential musician. Tracks include "I Shot the Sheriff," "Exodus," "Is This Love" and many more.

Bob.

The Last Wave

Description: When a young aborigine is murdered, a Sydney lawyer defends the accused men to save them from tribal retribution. But once the attorney begins investigating the case, he starts having disturbing dreams and strange encounters.

My Promulgation: Once again, I fell asleep during this movie. Seems to be a common occurance. Anyway I didn't understand much of this movie, even if Richard Chamberlain (The Thornbirds, Shogun) played the lead role. If it's on TV, and it's really late, and you've just had a quad latte (no decaf) then go ahead and sit through this flick, otherwise I would pass and go straight to bed.

The Barbarian Invasions

Description: In this Oscar-winning drama, fifty-ish Remy (Remy Girard) is divorced and hospitalized in Montreal. His ex-wife, Louise, asks their estranged son, Sebastien, to come home from London (where he now lives) as a show of support for his father. As soon as he arrives, Sebastien makes the impossible happen, using his contacts and disrupting the health care system in every way possible.

My Promulgation: "Scan by Christmas, in the grave by Easter" was an interesting quote from the lead role, a man battling cancer. This was a good movie (even with subtitles) and for some, aspects will drive close to home for us who've ever watched a loved one die, especially of cancer. As with this character, ultimately each of us must answer the question, did I make a difference, did I live the life worthy of living? Deep and gut wrenching topics many of us find difficult to explore.

Roger Dodger

Description: A comic, urbane look at the modern male ego at war in the Manhattan singles-scene trenches. Roger (Campbell Scott) is a hopelessly cynical advertising copywriter with a razor-sharp wit who believes he's mastered the art of manipulating women. But Roger's seemingly foolproof world of smooth talk and casual sex begins to unravel when he tries to school his teenage nephew in his techniques -- and discovers he still has much to learn about women!

My Promulgation: This was a mildly entertaining film with some witty dialog and interesting insight into the worst of the male ego, holding true for what I suspect is a majority of the unmarried or 3x divorced bozos out there who still act like they are 20 years of age, yet in reality, are twice that. Isabella Rosalinni, the Saved by the Bell chick and Flashdance girl played insignificant parts in this movie. I didn't fall asleep so it gets 2 stars.

Van Helsing

Movie Description: Vampire hunter extraordinaire Dr. Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) travels to a mysterious region of Eastern Europe on a quest to vanquish the big three -- Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), the Wolf Man (Will Kemp) and Frankenstein's Monster (Shuler Hensley). On hand is his intrepid assistant Anna (Kate Beckinsale), the heir to a family committed to hunting down and destroying the Count. Based on author Bram Stoker's character that appeared in Dracula

My Promulgation: I fell asleep during most of this movie, but that didn't seem to matter. Hugh Jackman and a hot Kate Beckinsale seem to fight monsters and jump around like maggots on a hot skillet, with some super human powers that didn't make sense to me, but then again, I'm sure all that was explained in phenominal detail while I was sawing logs on the sofa. Lots of special effects, including Hugh Jackman's great boy hair, but in the end, the story is as we would expect it, he lives, she dies....or is it the other way around. Ah, van hell. Who cares.

Happiness

Description: A bittersweet film that belies its title, Happiness draws a dark portrait of a supremely dysfunctional family where each member battles personal demons. Plotlines include a prank telephone caller (Philip Seymour Hoffman) who's afraid of women and a preternaturally cheerful woman (Jane Adams) who's unable to make a physical connection. With other stories revolving around pederasts and masturbation, this remarkable movie is not for the squeamish.

My Promulgation: Our version of this movie was black and white because I later discovered the house cleaners moved the DVD player and it disconnected one of the wires in the back. That seemed to make little difference to me. I fell asleep during this one. It had some mildly entertaining scenes about some pretty disturbing topics, but I got nothing from it. It doesn't get one damned star.

Children of Dune

Description: Twelve years after the events of Dune (based on Frank Herbert's best-selling series of novels), political intrigue, rebellion and betrayal play out on an interplanetary level. To his horror, Arrakis emperor Paul Atreides (Alec Newman) -- has become the unintended figurehead of a violent dictatorship, and his enemies are multiplying. Vanishing into the desert, he waits as destiny shapes his twin heirs, Leto II and Ghanima.

My Promulgation: Frank Herbert's Dune series is legendary in SciFi book circles...No Duh. This movie series was pretty damned good. We watched this on TV, and like it, so I rented it again, I mean who doesn't like SciFi for Christ's sake?

Nowhere in Africa

Description: Shortly before World War II, a Jewish couple and their young daughter emigrate to Kenya from Germany to escape the Nazis. Not all members of the family are happy with this drastic change -- but going home isn't an option. Ultimately, they must all come to terms with a new life in a new continent. Director Caroline Link's epic drama won the 2002 Oscar for best foreign film.

My Promulgation: I'm sick and damned tired of holocaust stories, I mean I've seen like one or so, but I dig Africa, and really like Kenya. I liked this movie. It had a good story line and was a nice film, but that had nothing to do with Jews escaping the camps. It was story of life, compassion and caring.

Children of Heaven

Description: A delightful Iranian movie about a boy who accidentally loses his sister's shoes and must share his own sneakers with her in a sort of relay while each attends school at different times during the day. Finally, the boy enters a much-publicized foot race, hoping to place third. The prize: a new pair of sneakers. Directed by respected filmmaker Majid Majidi, Children of Heaven is just that -- heavenly.

My Promulgation: Any indie or non Hollywood movie always gets my interest. This one did. It was a cute story and I liked it too. Jesus H. Can you imagine such an ordeal over a pair of shoes? We're living large in the US of A. Don't forget it bucko. So see the movie.

When We Were Kings

Description: Two latter-day warriors travel to their ancestral homeland in When We Were Kings, a fascinating documentary about the 1974 "Rumble in the Jungle" title bout between heavyweight boxers Muhammad Ali and George Foreman. At the time, Foreman was world champion, and 32-year-old Ali was thought to be past his prime. Director Leon Gast struggled more than 20 years to complete the film.

My Promulgation: I remember when this happened, but I was only 10 years old, so I rented so I could learn more about this big boxing match in Africa. It reminded me of when Arnold out psyched poor Lou in the docu-drama Pumping Iron. How ironic that now Ali can't wipe his own ass and George Foreman is a multi-millionare selling those stupid grills. And why they hell did he name all his sons George? What a dumb ass. Oh well, if success is measured by the moola we make, he's clearly got more than me. Good God will you look at this? USB Grill

Life of Buddha

Description: The birth and life of one of religion's most important icons, the Buddha, is chronicled in this incisive documentary. Director Martin Meissonnier charts the transformation of Prince Siddhartha into the Buddha, a man who transformed the world with his powerful teachings. Illuminating for religious historians, the documentary also serves as an inspirational tale for people of all races and religions.

My Promulgation: This DVD showed up in French, so what the hell? No sub titles, no English version. I sure as hell am not going to sit through this thing having my friend Fabien translate it for me.